How important is a sense of control? I have been asking myself this question for the past couple of weeks. I am a control freak, I have been very busy at home lately...We moved a few months ago. I must have forgotten how stressful it is to move. There are so many moving pieces to a successful move and who is judging me anyways? Oh, that's right, I am judging me. I want the new house to be complete, but then if I finish decorating the house, I might get bored and want to move again. Wait, that won't happen because Brian has told everyone he is never leaving, the man hates moving more than me. Back to this control exploration...I have trouble accepting things when I am not in control. I fancy the notion that I can will things to go my way, I know this is unrealistic, but sometimes it works, so I keep trying. My larger question with control that I am grappling with is why do we desire to be in control so viciously? When I relinquish control, I am almost always pleasantly surprised at the outcome, yet each time I struggle to let go. Playing devil's advocate here, perhaps I am only pleasantly surprised at the outcome because I convinced myself that it was for the best. We tell ourselves so many half truths, don't we? We want to believe that things happen for a reason, or that the world makes sense, but does it? Of course not! I digress again, back to control. Control is the desire to be the leader of one's own destiny, to make the decisions, to call the shots! Sounds exhausting, yet I want it! WHY? This must be why there are quotes surrounding control, I did a quick search for control quotes and came up with over 1000 hits. I think life is trying to tell me to be like this, “You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway.” (Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free) However, I am more of a Coco Chanel kind of girl, so this quote really speaks to me...
“My life didn't please me, so I created my life.” - Coco Chanel